Cheap-Ass Tip : You're only wearing it one time....

Wedding Gowns ...ugh !

A beautiful gown does not have to cost an arm, a leg and the first born child of your first born child. Here are some things to remember when you are shopping for yours !

Everyone loves a beautiful bride, and in the years that I have performed weddings for marrying folks the one question I am asked the most is where the intended and impending bride-to-be should go shopping for her gown.

The fact of the matter is that you are only wearing that dress one time, and unless you have a daughter or if your future children will include one, the idea of anyone spending THOUSANDS on a dress that she will wear ONE TIME just makes my brain itch. I have a few thoughts, and you might balk at them, but if what you want is a wedding that is both perfect AND affordable, the other idea is that you might not think that my ideas are such a wash...here they are...

My first thought is The Thrift Store...yes, the thrift store, and it is because you can get a gorgeous gown with a lot of ugly little beads on it, take it to your friend who is a seamstress, and you and that friend can rework the way the gown looks with a few alterations. While it might seem like the ultimate in Cheap-Assedness, it will save a whole lot of money and will whittle the time seeking out the perfect dress if you could see the possibilities. A lot of the time, what we see in the bridal mags are mainly dresses that are newly designed and created for those brides who can totally afford taking out a loan in order to buy it!

The Second thought that I have is to go to the downtown Los Angeles clothing district, because that is where a LOT of those "loans for a one time wearin' it" type dresses will be found, and in that case, it won't be thousands but actually hundreds of dollars.

The Third is Recycler.com, craigslist.org, and of course, Ebay.com - buy your dress online...and while I get it that this can be dangerous in that it might be too small (yikes) or too big (not as yikes) you can refer to the first thought, back to that friend who is handy-dandy on a sewing machine.

The Fourth? Of course !! That same friend...you know the one...she is awesome on a sewing machine, and she is going to charge you a whole lot less than will anyone else who is NOT your friend. This is not you being cheap...okay, maybe a little, but in reality, cheaper is smarter, and smarter means that you have saved some money. If you have a friend who is an amazing seamstress - pay them for making your dress. The two of you will have a great time designing or reworking the pattern and buying the fabric that you find together, and more than that, you will have a great memory of a precious friend who became a permanent part of your special day.

No one likes to think about low-balling the money spent on the day that will change your life forever. At the same time, you cannot have an affordable wedding if you are willing to save on everything BUT the dress. Wedding planning is not a simple task, and planning an affordable wedding is not any easier. However, when thinking in terms of how long one plans to wear this dress as opposed to all of the other more wonderful things that the money saved on the dress can be spent on -perhaps a tropical honeymoon?- the dress seems to pale in comparison. When you look back ten or twenty years from now, and you look in the closet, at the box where the dress that got worn one time will remain, and then realize that you could have saved a LOT of money if you would have thought of your other options, somehow it makes it seem a lot less important that the dress is more expensive than it is beautiful.

Beauty is created and shared, and should not cost a minimum of your first born's first born child...

Just sayin' !

Happy Nuttiness~!
Reverend Roxie


Reverend Roxanne K. Cottell is a Southern California Native with Hawaiian Roots and a Penchant for all things hula and all things rock and roll. If what you are looking for is a whole lot of fun and not a lot of drama for you and your guests, Rev. Roxie and her Minions can help you come up with the most affordable wedding that you can all think of...and she can even get an actual ROCK BAND to your nuptials that DOESN'T SUCK !!! You can hit her up by sending an email to her. Please visit her website...and of course - there is a page in her site that is all about AFFORDABLE WEDDINGS THAT DO NOT SUCK !

Cheap-Ass Tip: It ain't just a wedding - it's a celebration.

A wedding should be a celebration...complete with all the (cheap-ass) trimmings!

There is no rule that states that any wedding has to cost the couple and their family an arm and a leg...in fact, there is nothing and no law stating that it even has to be a traditional event !

I am not one for the idea that everything in the business of marryin' folks is static, that it is all set in stone and has to be boring and reverent and serene. Most of the people for whom I have officiated their wedding all say the same thing - mine are celebratory rather than traditional affairs. Seeing as how the world has somehow gone from doing only the "til death do ye part" to the other side, to the other extreme, where some places are legally recognizing LGBT unions as actual marriages (I see them this way, by the way...Love knows no color or gender...as it should be...damned State of California...come on, guys !! Lighten Up! It's just LOVE!! Duh!), I thought that there should be a post that is about having a great wedding that is more a party and that won't cost an arm, a leg or that first born of the first born child.

Let's do some thinkin', shall we?

You can save a whole lot of time and patience if you combine your event. When you combine the ceremony AND the reception, meaning that rather than walking the aisle of some big fat imposing church, have yourself a merry little nuptial and do it up cheap-ass style...by having your minister (hint hint) do the ceremony in the place the reception is to be held AND rather than having your guests sit, they surround the couple...like a tribal thing...you're smart...I'm sure you can envision what I am talking about. For real...you do NOT have to do anything in a manner that is not your style and not the style that is someone else's.

Yup, I said it, now deal with it. There is not one thing essentially wrong with doing this...this backyard party style wedding...I do them ALL THE TIME.

My thought about this is that you can have the most lovely bridal gown, along with the not-so-lovely bridesmaids dresses, and you can rent a big fat church, hire a stuffy minister, hire a really BAD caterer who will treat your guests like jerks, a bartender who is only there for the tips and a DJ who plays old 80's hip hop...

...and you can end up being very unhappy with your ceremony.

Or, you can do both at the same time, save the money you would spend on all those things that are only ceremony related, get yourselves hitched in what I have lovingly referred to and will now use as an example as being the greatest phenomena known to the marrying cheap-asses of the world....yup...backyard party style weddings...and not the kind that suck, not the kind that is potluck - no, no!! We are not going THAT cheap...even I have my standards haha! I think you can totally understand what I am saying!

HOWEVER...

...thinking in terms of having a totally awesome time at your own shin-dig , you want to be able to relax, and you want your guests to have fun, and more than anything, you want people to recall it as being a great time. IF this is what you are after, then all you really need to do is think beyond the Sanctuary walls (and believe me there are likely not a lot of folks who would tell you differently about how much I LOVE ANY Sanctuary...hey...me and Spirit have to meet at her house sometime, you know...just sayin'). By this I mean that you have got to think outside the box and you have got to shed the idea that what was, as far as ceremonies and nuptials in general go, no longer is.

And what is in its place, or at least in my neck of the woods, are those nuptials which combine the ceremony with the reception. Yes...you read that correctly - combine the ceremony with the reception by holding the ceremony in the place where you intend to party AFTER the ceremony. It is not so odd, and is not something that has never been done. It is just something that not a lot of people in the industry cares to think about because the truth is that marrying and getting married is big business. My thought is that you can do as great a job at planning an actual Wedding Party that will not call for your guests to wear anything that was bought off of a rack and instead allows them to come to a backyard barbecue complete with bubble machine and bounce house ...

It's all in how you think of things, really...do you want to throw an overpriced gala affair that everyone will be talking about as having been said such thing...or...do you want an affordable wedding where not only were you able to hang with your guests, but was a celebration that was both kid and groom/guy friendly?

Seems like a pretty easy answer to me...
Just sayin'!

Happy Nuttiness
Reverend Roxie

Reverend Roxanne K. Cottell is a Southern California Native with Hawaiian Roots and a Penchant for all things hula and all things rock and roll. If what you are looking for is a whole lot of fun and not a lot of drama for you and your guests, Rev. Roxie and her Minions can help you come up with the most affordable wedding that you can all think of...and she can even get an actual ROCK BAND to your nuptials that DOESN'T SUCK !!! You can hit her up by sending an email to her. Please visit her website...and of course - there is a page in her site that is all about AFFORDABLE WEDDINGS THAT DO NOT SUCK !

Cheap-Ass Tip : You can Fake it if YOU Make it !

Affordable Wedding Tip...Perfect weddings can also be Affordable Weddings

Every Bride to Be dreams of the perfect wedding, and almost never does  the thought in her head or do the words "Perfect Wedding" and "Affordable Wedding" ever thought of as one and the same.

If there is one thing that irritates any person planning a wedding it is the thought that there must be an exorbitant amount of money spent on the entirety of the whole thing. This is not the truth. An affordable wedding does not automatically mean that the event will somehow be way, way "ghettofied." Such is not the case. There are a whole lot of different ways to save money for your big day and not all of them are cheap-ass to the point that your guests can see just how cheap-ass you really went with your own wedding.

The truth is that there is not a bride on the planet whose last name does not start with "K" and end with "ardashian" who would not love to be able to have an affordable wedding that will also be her dream wedding. With a lot of creativity, a few friends who are willing to help, family members who can offer accommodations, etc., etc., your affordable wedding can rival the most inspired and creative and yes - expensive - weddings anyone has even known about.

You do not have to be a "coupon bride," but it does help, and the truth is that no one is going to look down on you or think of you as being a cheap-ass, and even more than that, the truth, too, is that unless someone else other than you is willing to foot the bill for whatever it is that they are suggesting (but most certainly are NOT going to offer to pay for...I PROMISE), they need to shut the hell up and let you do your thing already. (After all, you are a big girl who managed to get to the point in your life where a fully grown adult male...or female...proposed to you...that means that you are likely wearing your proverbial "big-girl panties.")

Having an affordable wedding is not impossible. It really only takes some planning and some creativity and sometimes a little bit of elbow grease, but there really is not a whole lot standing in the way of any bride-to-be to have her dream wedding as long as she is willing to put some time in for research for perusing the internet for sites like her local freecycle, for clipping mad coupons on Sunday (Michael's Arts and Crafts stores usually have a nationwide weekly ad that offers up to 40% or 50% of the price of one item- and usually it is the most expensive item you are purchasing), for whom it is not that big of a deal to go to yard sales and garage sales, to the thrift store, realizing that there is a whole lot of magic that can happen with some baubles and beads and a can of spray paint...and let us NOT forget about your auntie's yard for all of those flowers!  

Again...no reason any marrying couple cannot have the most beautiful AND affordable wedding that they and those they love can create...takes a little time, patience and a LOT of creativity, but it is totally possible to do it! 

Happy Nuttiness !!!

Reverend Roxie

Reverend Roxanne K. Cottell is a Southern California Native with Hawaiian Roots and a Penchant for all things hula and all things rock and roll. If what you are looking for is a whole lot of fun and not a lot of drama for you and your guests, Rev. Roxie and her Minions can help you come up with the most affordable wedding that you can all think of...and she can even get an actual ROCK BAND to your nuptials that DOESN'T SUCK !!! You can hit her up by sending an email to her. Please visit her website...and of course - there is a page in her site that is all about AFFORDABLE WEDDINGS THAT DO NOT SUCK !